A dad's point of view

When laura first told me she was pregnant I froze, I didn't know what to say or do for a few seconds, I was happy, so happy as I had always wanted a baby, I believe I was put on this earth to be a dad. A lot of things went through my head that night in bed, most of them turned out to not really matter. Will it be a boy or girl? Will they be healthy? Will we be able to afford a child? Will I be a good parent? What if this happens, what if that happens, it all really doesn't matter. Looking back I wish I didn't worry, wish I enjoyed the first finding out a bit more, but everyone reacts different, I was excited, but I'm quite a deep thinker and may have over thought a lot. Laura's pregnancy was a good time of our lives, we'd just got married and got our new house, the arrival of Bonnie gave me a good deadline to decorate the house and to do what we wanted, I wanted to make Bonnies room perfect, and just as important Laura's dressing room somewhere she could put her nice things and get ready. Laura is the most hard working and persistent person in the world, and being pregnant didn't restrict her from doing anything, she had to be begged by me and the midwife to stop working (a week before her due date) she's amazing and I admire her work ethic so much. Laura's waters broke 2 days before Bonnies due date, the 27th. We went into hospital that afternoon and got told to come back after 24 hours, we went back in on the 28th and Bonnie was born on her due date, the 29th of December. That's when both of our lives changed massively, Laura's more than mine. Going from working full time, weekends and long days to being on your own with a baby must be hard, I can't even imagine the mindset you have to be in to cope with it. But Laura has, she's pushed through a lot of tough days, breastfeeding until she can't physically do it anymore that day, and getting up the next time and going again. Being a dad is hard, being a husband to a wife who is as hard on herself as Laura is about being a mum is even harder. Everyone wants the best for their children and Laura is a classic example of utter selflessness, she's given everything to being a mum, she has bought a human into the world and over the past 5 months nurtured her into the most beautiful little girl, and for that I will never be able to thank her enough. I don't think anything will ever prepare you enough for being a parent. People want to be good parents of course they do, but what have we actually got to learn from? Nothing, we have to just make most of it up as we go along, we get tips and generic advice most of it a load of rubbish as every baby is different, but really when you think about it what have we got to look at apart from another book from Holly 'mum of the year' Willoughby telling you what to do. It's not anyone's fault that you can't be prepared, it's just the nature of it, having a baby is hard, sometimes it's impossible, but somehow Laura manages the impossible and gets up everyday and does her best for Bon. Sometimes it can get too much, and that's when husbands need to be there, need to soak up all of the bad and get rid of it somewhere, but where? One thing I did notice after Bon was born is how little support the dad gets, i don't want any attention or all eyes on me, I'm not jealous of Laura for being prodded and poked but I just think it would be good for someone to ask 'How are you coping?' Or is there anything you're worries about with Laura or Bonnie. A lot of focus is on the mums, and quite rightly so, but I think if there was more help for the dads then the mums would do better, feel better and maybe not get so down so often.