Friday 3 November 2017

Things I find awkward #285- The hairdressers



Here’s 12 reasons why being at the hairdressers is so god damn awkward:

  1. The magazines in the waiting area are wasted on me as I am never there with enough time to spare to sit and read them. In fact, I am a big fat sweaty rushed mess when I get there. If anything, I am late- (yep I'm that customer all hairdressers hate!) making all their other appointments late, which is just, well, awkward.

2. Anyone else practice what they are going to say/ ask for before they go in and then when its your cue you just blurt out some random crap and then end up making out you're not fussed and you're happy for them to do whatever??


3.The pile of magazines they give you. The variety is unreal. However you feel as it's a test and you will be judged on your choice. You choose wisely. You sit and hazily read 'vanity fair' or 'ELLE' when you know full well you're desperate to know the rest of the story advertised on the front of 'pick me up'.



4.The sweat mark on the chair when you stand up. I don't need to elaborate, you've all heard me speak about this before. ("Would you like to come over to the sink and I'll wash your colour off??" NO I DO NOT.)


5. Always hungry. Note to self: bring snacks to salon. 

6. The fact you have to sit and stare at yourself for hours. I mean, where do you even look?? You can't bear to look at your wet drowned rat head for much longer, so you watch the hair dresser until you feel like a psycho watching their every move.  You don't want them thinking you're some kind of control freak (even if you totally are) so you just pick up the same magazine and pretend to read it even though you've read it twice already to avoid all awkward eye contact.

7. 'Is the temperature ok for you?'  "Yes perfect thanks". 🀦🏼‍♀️(Oh Susan do you have to rub the fuck out of my forehead while washing my hair? You're washing off my make up and I've got somewhere to be πŸ™‹πŸΌand by the way, yes that waters too hot, it's SCALDING me.)



8. When you're getting your 'relaxing head massage' do you close your eyes to be polite and show that you like it? Or does that make you look like you're enjoying it TOO much? But then you open your eyes and you're all starey Mary πŸ‘€

9. When you're getting your hair blow dried and even if you love it you are convinced that the hairdresser thinks you hate it and you just don't know what to do with your facial expression. Do I look away? Do I look in the mirror and just watch as it dries hair by freakin hair?? Since when did my hair take so long to dry?!! 😩😩

10. I am never going to care what my hair looks like from the back. But I'll sure as hell have a good look in the mirror nodding enthusiastically when you do show me. 


11. No matter how much or how little you tip, you will always feel like a patronising cow. 

12. The awkward walk out of the hairdressers cos well everyone knows you've just come out the hairdressers and that's why your hair looks good then as soon as you're round the corner and it's out of sight you can be sassy as hell πŸ’πŸΌLike yeaaa I woke up like this πŸ™‹πŸΌ









Have I missed any? Or is it alllll just me???? Let me know in the comments below!!

A.M.L

LaLa 
x




2 comments:

  1. Im a brunette box dyer and always dread the patronising “you've boxdyed again havent you!”(disappointed mum looking face looking back at me)

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  2. I love this !
    Believe me as a hairdresser we’re concentrating on your hair we don’t care or even notice if your a stary
    Mary.
    I can’t say this for all hairdressers, but as I’m a full face of make up type of girl myself, I hate washing people’s make up off so take extra care and sometimes even find myself slightly blending it back to the hairline for them.
    Also the chair sweat... seriously were worried about you getting up going to the basin as were so close now, looking deep into each other eyes - that we worry that 9th cup of coffee we had 2 minutes ago doesn’t give you a beautiful aroma whilst chatting to you- or the fact that, that 9th cup of coffee was our lunch and our tummy starts making growling sounds at you. Lol.
    & here in Aus no one tips - I prefer the smile on the clients face and a rebooking ��

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